Not a Fairytale: Interview with Singer Emma Zander
“Not A Fairytale” is a new song by singer Emma Zander that comes with a music video that can be watched here. “Not a Fairytale” is a song that explains how the most unhealthy and toxic relationships can also be the most intoxicating. According to the official press release:
The track follows a pair who meet and fall quickly, madly in love. While it appears to be picture perfect, it is actually full of cracks, secrets and lies. This palpable and poignant song is a tragic poem about a once beautiful love story with elements of suspense, set to an infectious beat that sweeps listeners into a dream world that distorts our sense of reality. Looking back at a complicated romance from the rearview mirror, the video flashes through 8mm footage fantasies to show what could’ve been — the house, the wedding, the babies. But in the end, we’re left wondering about the reality of the situation and if the perception of this fairytale was clouded.
Emma wrote this song after grappling with her own toxic relationship which she needed to heal from. She recently discussed the song, the music video, and her career via an exclusive interview.
Meagan Meehan (MM): How did you get interested in music and why did you gravitate towards pop?
Emma Zander (EZ): I’ve sang my whole life, but realized I was kind of good at it around 11 years old. Growing up in NY, I immersed myself in the theatre world. I started with musicals and trained classically in opera for 10 years — but pop music was always what truly excited me. I loved Kelly Clarkson, Britney Spears, Sara Bareilles, and even pop musicals like “Next to Normal” and “Aida.” Singing those songs lit me up.
MM: Do you write the lyrics or melodies for your songs first?
EZ: It always varies. I used to really hone my melodies and write words to fit. But I recently heard a Rick Rubin interview where he challenged artists to run with the first words that come out of our mouths. They are often the simplest, but they are often the best choice. I’m obsessed with words, and I’ll slave over one line for a whole hour — but the best songs are the ones that just effortlessly flow.
MM: Which of your songs is your favorite and why?
EZ: I’m so excited about the new music I’m writing right now. Of all the songs I’ve put out, a few stand out to me. ‘Down’ is such an underrated Euphoria-inspired summer BOP (produced by the incredible Andrew Luce). ‘Worst Fight’ is a breakup ballad that’s just gut wrenching.
MM: How did an actual relationship you had inspire “Not a Fairytale”?
EZ: When I wrote this song, I was still healing from a relationship that I had completely lost myself in. It was pretty damn intoxicating at first. The highs were so high. Everything was picture perfect. But the deeper I got, the more I realized I was becoming someone I didn’t like. My mom saw it. My close friends saw it. I had to get out. In the song, I wrote, “It happened so fast, like a dream, never lasts, but I’ll dream it til I die.” I’ll always look back on those times with a bit of the fairytale version. But I’m far away enough from it now to know it wasn’t healthy. Even though it might’ve looked like one from the outside, it wasn’t a fairytale.
MM: Was it difficult to write a song about such a personal experience?
EZ: Honestly, it was therapeutic for me. There’s something so special about writing your own story as an artist. It’s almost as if you’re taking back control over the thing that happened to you — authoring it in your own words, and voice, and perspective. What a gift to alchemize a difficult situation into a living piece of art. Finding the lesson in what you’ve been through, and hopefully helping others through what you’ve found.
MM: Toxic relationships can be captivating but they are also harmful, sometimes even dangerous, and they can leave lasting psychological scars. As a survivor of this kind of situation, what advice can you offer to others about avoiding these scenarios?
EZ: A big sign to look out for is if you find yourself hiding things from the people closest to you. If you can’t tell your best friend or your family what’s really going on in the relationship — in an effort to protect your partner or preserve their image of them — it just isolates you further. I found myself not really telling anyone how bad things had gotten — because I knew they would want me to leave.
MM: What was the experience of filming the most recent music video like?
EZ: It was truly a labor of love. I worked closely with my dear friend and collaborator Kimberly Aboltin to bring the vision to life on a shoe-string budget. We used our friend’s empty apartment as the main location and dressed the set-in items from our houses — which means we had to wake up at 4 AM to lug carts full of stuff up the stairs so we could dress everything before the 7 AM call time. We didn’t wrap shooting until 2 AM the next night. It was a grueling 22-hour day. But every single person on set brought their magic and passion and A game. It turned out amazing.
MM: What has been the highlight of your career so far?
EZ: As I reflect on this one, so many fun highlights flash before my eyes. Playing EDC. Hearing my song in a movie on the big screen. Creating a retro music video with Jacob Elordi. Writing hooks with Bryce Vine. But I think the biggest highlight for me is just putting out music. Putting yourself out there is so vulnerable and can feel scary — so I’m just proud I’m still doing it after so many years.
MM: How do you hope your music career evolves over the next five years?
EZ: I see myself going on tour, performing my music around the world. I would DIE to make a full visual album and direct it like its own short film. Working with Jack Antanoff is my dream. I want to stay independent as long as I can, and truly connect with a larger audience in an authentic way.
MM: What are your ultimate goals for the future and is there anything else that you would like to mention?
EZ: In an industry full of teenagers with green hair and tattoos, I’m a 30-year-old woman. I used to think that meant I would expire, like sour milk or something (men don’t face nearly the same pressures). But now, I’ve realized that we really do need ALL of the female perspectives we can get in this world. I couldn’t have written the songs I’m writing now at 23. I have more wisdom, more confidence in who I am. I want other girls who feel too old to make it at 25 to look at me and think, “I’ve got time, I’m right on track.” I want to empower women to show up EXACTLY as they are. No apologies or disclaimers.
